I was told that as a child I was shy – meaning I didn’t talk to people I didn’t know.  My mom thought that it was so bad that when I was in high school, she called all my friends and asked them to not sit with me at lunch.  Imagine when you were that age and what that would feel like.  I had great friends – because they let me know what was going on.

So how did a shy, introverted girl end up in a sales career?  I realized that most of the time if I wasn’t speaking, I was observing what was going on around me.  You can learn a lot from just watching how people interact and speak to others.  This was great training for a future saleswoman.  It provided a skill set that is difficult for most – I can get along with most people and have great conversations.

If you look at the definition of introvert: “is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments”.  It meant when I came home form a business trip, I was talked out and needed to recharge myself.  I have a good sense of how to make sure I am at my best for meeting new people.

So, picture in your mind – a shy, introverted person who is responsible for growing a business; how would you go about networking?  I started to make some changes in my day to day life that eventually helped me become better at networking and meeting new people.

First, I became curious.  I wanted to learn the story of the individual.  We all have stories that make us who we are.  I found that when traveling this was a great opportunity to learn about the area that I was visiting.  I started with the concierge at the hotel, and then became comfortable in asking questions of local shop owners.  For example, ask the locals where they like to eat – or what one place they would tell their friends to go visit in their town.    When you are on vacation or traveling, it’s a great opportunity to talk with people you don’t know.

Second, I decided that I needed to give myself a direction of what to do.  For example, if at a sales conference I would tell myself that I had to talk to 3 new people I did not know.  If you have a booth at a sales conference – you get over yourself pretty quick.  But you are also in your comfort zone, because they are asking you questions about a product or service that you know inside and out.   This is one of the ways that elevated my comfort quickly since they were approaching me, and not the other way around.

Next, get out of your house. Seriously.  Stop hiding behind working on your business and get working in your business.  I talk to the Starbucks Baristas, the checkout person at the grocery store, anyone in front or behind me in line.  Except for the fact that I am addicted to espresso, I don’t think about how often I might see these people again.  But guess what?  You will become more comfortable when having conversations.   And you will meet more people.

Join.  That’s it, do you like to hike – find a group that hikes.  Trivia buff?  All sorts of opportunities to get out and participate?  Have a hobby?  There is a group out there for you.  You’ll end up doing something you already enjoy, with other people who like it too.  You have topics in common, so conversation comes naturally.

Then I decided that I would say “Yes” as often as possible.  If my ideal clients are female, and I get asked to attend a Meetup, any type of event or gathering that women will be at, I’m there.  Too often you can make up stories in your head about why you can’t.  Decide today to say yes, a little more often.

Finally, take a few minutes before you start your day and decide how you can add value to any person you meet.  When you focus on being of value to someone else, you are not thinking about yourself.  And when you leave everyone a little bit better, they will remember you. 

So today, I’m heading out to meet a group of ladies who created a social club for women of a certain ‘age’ for a glorious cup of coffee.  And – I’m going to talk to the barista behind the counter.  What are you doing today to get out of your comfort zone?